Bundesvision 2010: Thuringia

Norman Sinn & Ryo: Planlos

In my effort to preview each of the 16 different Bundesvision 2010 entries, I have developed a healthy respect for professional music writers. They get vast amounts of music that goes to their "To Review" pile, and despite the fact that most of it is strictly average, they have to try to write something compelling for their loyal readers. I have had similar issues with the Bundesvision entries. Some are really good.  Some are really unspeakably awful. But most just kind of fall in the middle somewhere, neither making me want to get up and dance/sing along, nor making me wish that somebody would drop a brick on my head from a great height to make it all stop.

And so, without further set up, I bring you Norman Sinn & Ryo's Planlos. It's vaguely danceable. It's vaguely sing-alongable. Ryo even does a nifty little rap in the middle to demonstrate that he's got that urban hip-hop edge that's so popular with the kids these days. I could see humming this song to myself during an absent minded moment on the train. In this age of disposable art, there is probably a lot that can be said for that. But being well suited for our disposable culture may not be the highest praise that can be sung for a song like Planlos.

Prediction: Norman Sinn & Ryo's Planlos no doubt fills a consumer driven need in music. I won't begrudge it that. But like so much else in this world, you could repackage it, rename it, and sell it as "New and Improved" tomorrow without actually having changed anything from the hundred times it has been done before. I predict that Planlos will do reasonably well, if only because it touches all the bases, but I don't see it getting above the middle of the pack.

Bundesvision 2010: Schleswig-Holstein

Stanfour: Sail On

I don't know if it was Styx that did it first, but they may have been the ones who were the most notorious for using the sailing metaphor in a pop song. That was back in 1978. Today it's 2010, and that same threadbare metaphor is still being used in Stanfour's Sail On. Can I make a suggestion? How about from this day forward, all musicians around the world make a solemn blood oath to never use sailing as a metaphor for love (unless they're singing about literally getting on a boat and going somewhere), never sing about a "fire burning inside" (another metaphor Stanfour uses in Sail On), and never sing that you're "gettin' down on my knees to pray" (when it isn't a religious song, and you're not actually praying to any particular god, but rather just hoping that the object of your affection listens to your song and agrees to hook up with you)(Sail On doesn't use this cliche, but it should be abolished anyway).

"But Peter," I hear my imaginary readers saying, "That's just the title of the song, oh, and most of the lyrics. What about the rest of the song?" A fair question. The short answer is that the rest of the song is just as embarrassingly cliched. The long answer is that, in order to make what was originally a cliched pop ballad into a contender for Bundesvision, certain changes had to be made that transformed Sail On from being passable Top-40 radio filler to being a musical Frankenstein's monster, with all of the subtlety and grace of the monster but none of the emotional complexity. First, the original album version of the song was entirely in English. Unfortunately, as all Bundesvision entries must be at least partially in German, this had to be changed. So, they did what any self-respecting band would do: they added a completely out of place German "rap" to the beginning and end of the song. Second, in order to stand out from all the other tepid ballads in Bundesvision this year, Stanfour added a danceable electronic back beat to appeal to all those kids who like to spend their evenings at the discotheque. Mission accomplished! Bundesvision here we come!!!

Prediction: Stanfour's Sail On has two advantages in this year's Bundesvision. First, Stanfour themselves are young and almost unnaturally good looking. Second, Sail On will no doubt appeal to the many people out there with the bodies of young adults and the emotional depth of a slightly under-ripe melon. But to be honest, I doubt that will make up for the fact that Sail On is just too damn precious for its own good. Stanfour, meet the Bundesvision basement.

Bundesvision 2010: Saxony-Anhalt

Silly: Alles rot

Every once in a while a great old band like Fleetwood Mac or Jefferson Starship (or is it Airplane? Jefferson Airplane? just Starship? what day is it?) get together and do a concert tour or put out a new single. More often than not, this is a pleasant trip back down memory lane for us aging folks who enjoy revisiting the music of our youth. At the same time, while these great bands are still able to showcase their musical chops, they are tied by their fans and by label expectations to return time and again to the tried and true sounds of their successful past, rather than moving into new musical landscapes.

So it is with Silly and Alles Rot.

For those of you who may not already be aware of them, Silly has been around since the late 1970s. Originally based in the East Berlin of Erich Honecker, Silly was able to build a solid following while maintaining an uneasy relationship with The State. Fast forward to 2010, and Silly is still around (with some key changes in personnel) producing music that still appeals to their original demographic of Germans in their late 40s, 50s, and 60s. Alles rot falls right within this paradigm. It's a well crafted song, performed by musicians who have been around the block more than a few times. That having been said, listening to Alles rot takes me back to the 80s. It doesn't make me think of the new modern Germany - or modern anything for that matter.

Prediction: Silly's Alles rot is a nice sentimental journey, just as the latest Fleetwood Mac reunion tour was a nice sentimental journey. But, for all of the pleasure that it provided its fans, the latter hardly set the musical world on fire, and the former hardly will either. Alles rot is an enjoyable diversion to a bygone age, but listeners under the age of 40 will wonder what all the fuss is about. I predict Alles rot will appeal to enough fogies like me to get it out of the bottom third, but it won't go any higher than that.

Bundesvision 2010: Saxony

Blockflöte des Todes: Alles wird teurer

I will admit to being harshly torn on Blockflöte des Todes' Alles wird teurer. On the one hand, I love Blockflöte des Todes. Over the course of one album and a couple of EPs, he (BdT is one guy) has done some really interesting and innovative things musically. He's almost like a 21st Century German version of Robyn Hitchcock, in that he puts out consistently quirky, but also consistently appealing songs. On the other hand, while it has grown on me over repeated listening, Alles wird teurer is nowhere near his best song.

All of this would be okay, if it ended there. After all, great musicians often hit it big with songs that I think are well beneath what they're capable of. But there are a couple of other factors that I think will work against BdT. First, while I personally like quirky music, I think Alles wird teurer is simply way too quirky for popular mass consumption - particularly on a stage like Bundesvision. Second, I think that BdT himself is a little too quirky. I don't mean this in a malicious way, far from it, but Bdt basically looks like a bearded nerd. Again, I find that appealing, but I don't think that this look will appeal to more than a small fringe of Bundesvision viewers.

Prediction: I personally think that Blockflöte des Todes deserves wide recognition for his skill as a songwriter and performer. Realistically, however, I strongly doubt that Alles wird teurer is terribly appealing to the German masses. As much as it pains me to say it, I predict that Alles wird teurer will be stuck down in the basement of Bundesvision 2010.

Bundesvision 2010: Hamburg

Selig: Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit

I have a confession to make. Selig's Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit was released only a few days ago, but in the lead up to its release I listened to a lot of other Selig to get a sense of what to expect. To be honest, I was expecting to hate Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit. I was expecting it to be of a similar ilk to Sebastian Hämer and Unheilig's entries, which were both decently executed but emotionally overwrought power ballads. To put it bluntly, I hate power ballads.

Fortunately, I was wrong. Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit is emotionally loaded, but it isn't cloyingly so. It carries that load with a lightness that the competition can't seem to manage. Yeah, it doesn't quite break out of many of the conventions of a power ballad - up to and including a synth string section to add some punch. But, within those conventions, Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit is able to maintain a basic level of self-respect that can often be lost when frayed emotional strings are too often pulled.

Prediction: While Selig's Von Ewigkeit zu Ewigkeit is a pretty decent song, I doubt that it will over-awe the German public. It will probably beat other songs in this genre in the competition, but it will still probably end up at the lower end of the middle of the pack.

Bundesvision 2010: Saarland

Mikroboy: Nichts ist umsonst

Every once in a while I'm torn. When I listen to Mikroboy's Nichts ist umsonst, I think to myself, "Hey, this ain't a bad tune." But then I think to myself, "But is it a great tune?" At this point, if I weren't writing a blog, I would just shrug and go on with my life. But, despite ample evidence to show that nobody particularly cares what I think about the upcoming Bundesvision Song Contest, I feel compelled to comment.

As far as the genre of alternative rock goes, Mikroboy's Nichts ist umsonst is a pretty good song. It's catchy, it rocks when it wants to, and Mikroboy has an appealing presence. My question is whether there is anything about Nichts ist umsonst that sets it apart from the pack. In addition, even if excelling within the confines of the alternative rock genre, is this really what the German public is in the mood for? If I'm honest, I really don't know the answer to these questions.

Prediction: Mikroboy's Nichts ist umsonst is a pretty good tune. But how does it compare to the competition? Depending on the mood of the German public on October 1, I'd predict that Nichts ist umsonst could land anywhere between the upper middle third and the lower top third of the competition.

Bundesvision 2010: Rhineland-Palatinate

Auletta: Sommerdiebe

Okay, first let me bitch (again) about something that has been bugging me. Both in my little adventure through Bundesvision, as well as through my broader delving through the world of international pop music and its various - sometimes unusual - variants, I try to share with you samples of the music so that you can judge for yourselves whether you too will like it. Frankly, it is always my hope, if you do find something here that you enjoy, that you'll want to buy it. To be honest, when I hear about a new band that sounds interesting, the first place I go to listen to it is the band's website, the band's MySpace page, or YouTube. It's kind of the "try before you buy" principle.

Well, in my attempt to find a good web-based version of Auletta's Sommerdiebe, I kept running into record label erected walls. Everywhere I turn, I'm told that this song is "not available in your country". Yes, I understand there are international copyright issues and all that, but almost every other song is available in my country, why not this specific one?

Anyway, I wanted to make this post all about how much I like the sample of Sommerdiebe that is available from the Auletta website. It's fresh, it's "alt"-poppy, it's got a good beat you can dance to. Broadly, it's a song that makes you feel good. I like that, and I think the German public will like that too. Fortunately, Germans will actually be able to listen to the entire song, and to watch the video. Sadly, the rest of us won't. It's a pity really. I would have liked to buy the album.

Prediction: Rhineland-Palatinate has historically done abysmally in the Bundesvision Song Contest. With Auletta's Sommerdiebe, or at least what I've heard of it, I think they have a chance to turn that around. I predict that Sommerdiebe will land among the top third in 2010.

ADDENDUM (Sept. 16): Well, wonders will never cease. After posting the above I notice that the official video for Sommerdiebe has been uploaded to YouTube, with access available everywhere. Hallelujah! Now having heard the entire song, I still like it, but perhaps not as much. Sommerdiebe will still do reasonably well, but maybe not in the top third after all.

Bundesvision 2010: North Rhine-Westphalia

Unheilig: Unter deiner Flagge

Sssssnnnnnrrrrkkkkkggggghhhhhh. . . huh?. . . wha'?. . . was I asleep again?

Oh man! Here I was listening to Unheilig's metal(ish) ballad Unter deiner Flagge, and I must have just lost consciousness for a few moments. But I'm back now.

Sssssnnnrrrrkkkkkgggghhhhhh. . . pflable???. . . urrrrkkk. . . whoa!!!!

Okay! I'm back again. I just need some more coffee. And maybe a quick run around the block. Oh, yeah, and a song that isn't quite so mind bendingly boring.

Yeah, I know that Unheilig has been around for years. And yeah, I know that Unheilig has a solid following among the Neue Deutsche Härte crowd. But that all just promises way more than Unter deiner Flagge either can deliver, or frankly even tries to deliver. It's all atmospheric build up with no climax - no emotional release - no point.

Prediction: Unheilig's Unter deiner Flagge may garner some of the broody, black fingernail polish crowd, but even that won't save it from a long and dreary night - which seems appropriate as it's a long and dreary song. I predict Unter deiner Flagge to be put to sleep near the bottom of the pile.

Bundesvision 2010: Mecklenburg-Vorpommern

Sebastian Hämer: Ist shon okay

What happens in a televised music contest when a good looking singer with a wonderfully rich voice sings a rather run of the mill ballad? It means that amateur pundits like me are left without any idea of what to expect of Sebastian Hämer's Ist shon okay in Bundesvision 2010. Those who enjoy well-executed ballads as performed by a singer who is easy on the eyes will likely enthusiastically support Hämer, while those who want some nourishing filling to fill that attractive crust will likely find the song Ist shon okay to be somewhat lacking.

"But wait," I hear some readers saying, "you hate all ballads. Surely, that colors your opinion of Ist shon okay negatively. That means, if you take away the negativity on the ballad aspect, and consider the positivity of the skilled delivery, Ist shon okay stands a great chance of winning!"

That's a very astute comment, if it were true that I hate all ballads. But actually, I don't hate all ballads; just the ones that return to the same tired formulas that tug at the same over-tugged emotional strings. I love ballads that say something new in an innovative way. While Ist shon okay is not the worst offender of over-tugging by far, it is also neither new nor innovative. Only time will tell if the German public feels the same way I do.

Prediction: Sebastian Hämer's Ist shon okay is probably the most aptly titled song in the Bundesvision 2010 contest. This song doesn't make me want to get up and dance, nor does it melt my frozen heart. On the other hand, it doesn't make me want to cram knitting needles into my ears to stop the musical pain. Because of this middling reaction, I predict Ist shon okay to do okay, and end up in the middle of the pack.

Bundesvision 2010: Lower Saxony

Dirk Darmstaedter & Bernd Begemann: So geht das jede Nacht

Sometimes, in order to move forward, you must first look back. Sometimes, you have to look really far back - as in 54 years back. That is certainly what Dirk Darmstaedter and Bernd Begemann are thinking with their song So geht das jede Nacht.

Well, I say "their" song, but actually So geht das jede Nacht is a cover of one of Germany's two entries into the 1956 Eurovision Song Contest, as sung by Freddy Quinn. It was, and still is, a groovy rockabilly tune that sounded, and still sounds, like part of the American Graffiti or the Happy Days soundtrack. It is hard to tell at this point, as the Dirk Darmstaedter and Bernd Begemann version will not be released until September 10, 2010, but from live performances it appears that their version is a pretty faithful reproduction of the original.

I guess that's fine, but it strikes me that there are a couple of factors working against Dirk and Bernd. First, the Bundesvision Song Contest is supposed to be a reaction against the Eurovision Song Contest. As the song did not even win Eurovision in 1956, it is hard to imagine it doing particularly well in Bundesvision 2010. Second, when stacked up against music that speaks directly to the current generation of Germans both musically and lyrically, it is hard to imagine a 54 year old song making that same connection. While it may be unfair to judge a song from one live video before it is even released, I'm going to go out on a limb to say that surely Lower Saxony could have done better.

Prediction: While it is a fun enough song for those still into the concept of wearing bowling shirts and going to sock hops, So geht das jede Nacht strikes me as little more than a novelty act competing against real songs. Dirk Darmstaedter and Bernd Begemann will be lucky to claw their way out of the bottom 5 with So geht das jede Nacht.